Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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