Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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