Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
