I just pynch a tree in the face
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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