how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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