One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
