Where is the hickey?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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