I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
