Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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