Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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