she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
its liver damage thursday
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
