You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
