After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
