Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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