dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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