So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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