Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
