I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize