We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
