someone threw a dead crab at me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
