how can u be prego again
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
