I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she told me i tasted like america
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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