The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
zippers are such a cool invention
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
