take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
