Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
