Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
