I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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