Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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