well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize