my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
