I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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