LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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