what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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