the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
