I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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