Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
