i already hear my dad disowning me
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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