Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
