I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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