you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
