My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
