He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
