remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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