he thought i was a dude.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
