So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
