i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
