I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
