I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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