Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
