Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
