so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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