Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Randomize
