Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
