What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The struggles of a small town man whore
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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