Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize