is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
