she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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