she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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