bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
