AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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