Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
