My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
